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{ Author Archives }

Two Noisy Neighbors Suggest I Move to the Suburbs

For the past two weeks, I have been awoken by the sound of a chisel banging against the facade of the brownstone across the street. It is being refaced, and this is a noisy affair. Yesterday, I decided to find out how long the construction would last. I walked across the street and asked one [...]

A Burrito for the Next Hundred Years

According to Mexican tradition, the burrito was invented by Juan Mendez, a street vendor who sold tacos wrapped in large flour tortillas during the Mexican Revolution, 100 years ago. Mendez transported himself and his food on a donkey or burro. Hence the name burrito. In the ensuing 100 years, the burrito has, in my opinion [...]

The Employees at The Strand Are Obnoxious

Whenever I go to The Strand, that huge bookstore whose canvas bag is carried by every other New York City girl, I run into a snooty employee. Last year, I went there looking for a copy of Demian by Hermann Hesse. I found an attendant and asked, “Do you have any Hermann Hesse?” pronouncing Hesse [...]

I Disagree with Most of What Hank Paulson Said on Charlie Rose

Hank Paulson was on Charlie Rose this week. I disagree with so much of what he said, I don’t know where to start. So I’ll just take a few of the most objectionable statements: Well, Charlie, the risk was a huge one, because if the system had collapsed, it would have been catastrophic for the [...]

Five Good Reasons Not to Vote for Scott Brown

Five good reasons not to vote for Scott Brown, based on the “issues” page of his web site: 1. Scott Brown plagiarizes his son’s social studies papers: “America is a great country but we also have some challenges that we need to solve if we’re going to remain the world’s superpower.” 2. Scott Brown does not [...]

Free Ham Sandwich

My brother Matt posted this to craigslist: Free ham sandwich available for the taking. Sitting on the lawn at corner of Freemont Ave and 41st. Good sandwich, just never really got around to finishing it. Took a bite and then got really busy with graduate school. If you come by for it, PLEASE do not [...]

Palimpsest

A couple weeks ago, I tried to read Louis Menand’s review of Thomas Pynchon’s new novel. I got as far as this passage: Getting broken is in the nature of being an egg. The novel gives the concept some low-key metaphysical play—original sin is an obvious analogy—but, apart from this and a death-and-resurrection motif involving [...]

I Found Something With Bing That I Could Not Find With Google

I was searching for my friend Alison Branch’s wedding web site. Into Google, I typed “branch wedding,” “alison branch wedding,” “branch meade wedding,” “branch wedding site:wedding.com,” etc., etc. To no avail: Google insisted on showing me wedding planners in Branch, SC; the Facebook page of an unrelated Ms. Branch; a story about the engineers from [...]

Insights from Daniel Ellsberg’s Secrets

I’m reading Secrets by Daniel Ellsberg, the economist, former State Department staffer, and self-described “cold-warrior” who leaked the Pentagon Papers. The book is a memoir of the Vietnam War era. It chronicles how the Johnson administration deceived the electorate, escalated the war despite public opposition, and cultivated in the Executive a culture of secrecy and [...]

My Brother And I Waged Our Second Successful Boycott

Last weekend, my dad and I stopped at Northampton Coffee. I was waiting for my customary decaf americano, perusing the muffins, when it hit me: “Hey, I’m supposed to be boycotting this place!” You see, about a year ago, my brother Matt had gone into the same cafe and asked whether the beans were fair [...]